Mar 31, 20234 min read

A BREAST CANCER MEMOIR: – The Four B’s

It is exactly ten years ago, mid this year, that my dear friend and colleague, Leanne, passed away from cancer. Although her cancer did not originate in the breast, both of us having had a cancer diagnosis connects me with her energy on a deeper and stronger level.

Leanne was one of those people with much awesomeness to offer the world. I was truly blessed to teach alongside her and to be within her circle of many friends. Her life’s impact on mine is still profound - a decade after she left this earth - and I believe it is no coincidence that this breast cancer memoir will end up being published with its strong focus on prevention and vigilance, when it comes to cancer – in this, the 10th milestone year of her passing.

Leanne taught many wise and wonderful things to the little people she was charged with. I have snavelled up the wonderful ‘4Bs’ that she instilled into those little people with passion and gusto, and I have used them to frame Show Us Your Tits – Baring All and Beating Breast Cancer.

The 4Bs

Be your:

BRAVE BEST

BOLD BEST

BEAUTIFUL BEST

BRILLIANT BEST

BE YOUR BRAVE BEST

Cancer redefined BRAVE for me. We’ve all had challenges appear in our lives right? Times when you’ve had to step up and find your courage. Being plucky enough to start those difficult conversations with loved ones, fearless enough to scuba dive or jump out of a plane, or gutsy enough to say no to various requests and direct your life away from those who try to bring you down.

Anyone who has had a near-death experience, or has been diagnosed with a disease that is out to kill them, can relate to the level of resoluteness one must find to get through the pain, trauma and insurmountable fear that tries to take hold.

It’s weird. I didn’t feel brave at the time of my diagnosis, I suppose I didn’t really know what brave was, but as I look back now, I can credit myself with a stoic and enduring determination to get through my breast cancer shitfest - still smiling.

BE YOUR BOLD BEST

Being BOLD? This disposition surfaced to the top quite quickly for me. I grabbed that audacious feeling with both hands and used it to my advantage. I shouted LOUD and CLEAR about the dangers of breast cancer to all those around me, determined to try and warn others, especially those women 40+ and unaware of the age danger zone they had just stepped into.

My words became BOLD. I’ve always been partial to a bit of swearing, but societal judgements and family boundaries had always kept it in check. Well, no more – fuck that! Shouting profanities at the top of my lungs, directed at cancer, gave me a strength I didn’t know I had. OK, most of the time I was home alone when I let rip, but still, it was cathartic and empowering. A lot of this colourful language has ended up in this memoir because I have tried to capture an accurate and honest picture of not only what I went through, but what I was thinking and how I tackled it.

BE YOUR BEAUTIFUL BEST

Beauty is often first thought of as a physical descriptor, but that view is shallow. It is so much more than that. I was certainly not feeling physically beautiful. With considerable weight-gain through chemo, no hair, chronic haemorrhoids, and a grey pallor to my skin, physical beauty was some distant dream that no longer even remotely applied to me.

Through cancer, I found beauty in relationships. I met beautifully inspiring, funny, and reliable women all going through their own breast cancer shitfest. Together we sobbed, laughed, listened, vented, danced, screamed and held each other in high regard, supporting one another through a tough life crisis.

The profound beauty that surrounded me from dear friends and family was something quite extraordinary. It was so humbling and this beauty carried me through the darkest of days and the longest of nights.

I also surprisingly found beauty in the relationship I have with myself. I really had to embrace the new me and love the image I saw in the mirror, even if I barely recognised her. This bald and bloated woman needed some TLC and I was able to give myself that. I also found a new edge to my sense of humour and laughed a lot at the incredibly crap time I was having.

The most difficult battles are destined for the most valuable warriors.

BE YOUR BRILLIANT BEST

Through all this trauma, something brilliant must emerge. You can’t go through this shitfest and not help others, especially when breast cancer is so prolific in this country. Many BC warriors do this in a multitude of ways. Some 21 000+ people will be diagnosed with breast cancer in Australia THIS YEAR.

Our national screening program offers FREE mammograms every two years from 40 (and has done since 1993) but this is not widely promoted. In fact, it is one of the best kept 30-year-old secrets around! I was so peeved by this lack of public education and awareness, and so worried for all those 40-somethings out there who were completely oblivious to the fact that breast cancer should be on their radar. NOW!

Then I had this brilliant idea! If the government wasn’t going to tell them, then I was! Can at 40. Do at 45. was born! A social media campaign to raise awareness that mammography is FREE from 40 and also to pressure the government to reduce the invitation age for FREE mammograms from 50 down to 45. The research is clear. There is a definite mortality benefit for women 45-49 who regularly screen.

Now the campaign has almost 5000 followers – please join in! I even have t-shirts, pens, car stickers, mugs and bags with the logo and catch phrases! The campaign has saved many lives and continues to do so. So yes, that is Brilliant!